[I don't know why I seem to attract the kind of friend that must one-up me all the time -- I mean, I don't have a lot of friends, but they ALL seem to feel the need to top my stories. It might just be that this fellow felt miffed by my less-than-sympathetic reaction to his begging off dinner the other night]
Waking up this morning I discover that the last remains of my brains are slowly dripping out of my nose. Tthe main part must have come out yesterday judging by the number of tissue boxes I have emptied. So the only solution seems to be to lie flat in bed for a few more hours. At least that does seem to slow down the ‘brain drain’…
Suddenly I wake up by some strange noises and loud barking coming from down stairs – it turns out its not a burglar: the dog is going mad about but my wife and her mum coming home from another successful scavenger trip to the local shopping mall.
Clever m-i-l then leaves the door open while the garage door is still up giving our young and highly energetic kamikaze puppy (yep, she’s Japanese!) the opportunity to make a dash for freedom!
“Quick, run after her” both shout so I grab a leash, some shoes, and the first coat I can lay my hands on and run after the dog. After chasing through the streets, the forest and the snow covered fields, I finally catch the nimble little thing! But walking home I get stopped by two shady looking Czech guys; one of them whips out his wallet, but instead of offering me money he shows me a badge and mumbles something in Czech; the only two words I understand are ‘Criminal’ and ‘Policia’!
After explaining that I do not speak the local lingo he manages to mutter a few words in Czenglish, telling me they are looking for a weirdo who’s been seen walking a dog in our neighborhood.
I then realize that I am wearing a women’s coat over my pajama trousers and still have paper tissue stuck up my nostrils (you know, to stop the brain draining any further); so no wonder they stopped me! It was only when his colleague pointed out that the dog did not meet the description they were given (they where looking for a weirdo with a Dalmatian) that they let me go home!
Coming home the two other girls where so happy to see the dog come home unharmed – nobody seemed to care if I was OK! On the contrary, I now felt much worse than earlier in the morning; that running after the dog must have loosened and liquefied a few more brain cells as the floods suddenly started again after entering the warm house. So back to bed gain and lie flat to stop this!
The bad news is that it is now half past midnight and I’m wide awake having slept so many hours today; the good news the floods have stopped and the brain is still working! And I can watch some tv with nobody questioning my choice of channels!
Am actually looking forward to go back to work tomorrow; just hope I not all of my memory has been drained off! ;-)
not for nuthin', primeval golf in Oz - THE GOROKE GOLF CLUB IN VICTORIA, AUSTRALIA. PHOTO: TRISTAN FOSTER
3 weeks ago